Mo*Bee's Blog #11: Ten Dollars



Mo*Bee's Blog # 11:  Ten Dollars

Great thing happened to me today. Being a mom is always a super hard job. Sometimes your kids do things that make you want to crawl under a rock and hide. But sometimes, they do things that make you so proud that you just want to scream to the world ” Hey, did you see that, that's my kid!” I would like to take a moment, in keeping with Mo*Bee's mission statement where it says "make a difference," to talk about what happened to my daughter Candice today.

First, I have to start back when she was just starting high school. Candice, like most kids do, was going through a phase. She thought wearing black, baggy clothes, and having her hair dyed neon pink was a cool look to have. It was the kind of look that made even her dad ask me," Why do you let her dress like that? It makes her look like a kid that's going to cause trouble." To which I replied," Hey, she don't drink, she don't do drugs, she's not pregnant nor has she been pregnant, and she gets A's and B's, so if that is how she wants to rebel, or if this is her way of looking cool, then I say we let her do it. Besides, if we approve of it, she may start to think, 'Hey, if my parents are okay with this, then it can't be cool.' "

Candice in High School

Before she started high school, I told her,"People judge you by the way you look. If this is how you are going to start high school, you need to know that teachers are going to think you are a troublemaker." She said, " No they won't, I'm not changing it! I like it, and this is how I want to look." So off she went to high school with her baggy, black clothes and bright bright pink hair, in a fauxhawk no less. When she got home that first day she said," Mom, one of my teachers hates me." I said, "No, she doesn't, she just met you today, she doesn't even know you yet."  She said, “No, she really does! She told me we are like oil and water, and we are not going to mix.” I said, "If she said that then... maybe she does hate you." Then I laughed! Candice got mad and said “it's not funny, mom! She hates me.” I asked her what she had done to make this teacher hate her. She told me she didn't do anything. It was almost time for the class to be over, and people were just sitting talking to each other all quietly. The teacher just walked over and said that to her. I told Candice, “You're going to have to give her some time to get over the way you look. Once she gets to know you, you'll be fine.”
Two weeks later she came home, all happy and taking two pieces of hard candy out of her front pocket. She showed them to me proudly, as if she had won an award. She said, " Guess who gave me these? She said my teacher Ms (Blank) gave them to me!" I said, " I thought she hates you." Candice said, " I know, the more she gets to know me,  the nicer she has been to me."
I told Candice then that this was a good example for her to see that she should try hard not to judge people by the way they look. Try to always be open and friendly to everyone you meet no matter what they look like. The world would be a much better place if we judge people solely by the way they treat us. Crazy thing is that people will go out of their way to avoid a strange looking person walking down the street. They'll even lock their car doors if they see someone coming toward their car who they feel looks untrustworthy. Yet they'll drive that car home to a place where they know that there is a good chance that once again, they will be beaten or verbally abused. They will stay in that relationship even though they know their fate could be death this time. Like I said, it's a crazy world.

This teacher, who happened to be nearing retirement age, was taught something herself. The girl she had met on that first day of school, the same girl who she had said something hurtful to, was the same girl who she later chose as a student of the month and after that, to be her personal assistant throughout her time in high school. It was the same kid whom she gave flowers to and a gift to on graduation day! It was the same girl who even to this day, she runs over and gives her a great big hug and tells her how much she misses her when she sees her in town.

While this teacher may have learned not to judge a book by its cover, Candice has not learned to tone down her look. As I suspected, the black, baggy pants and pink hair lost its coolness, and she toned that down. For a while, she looked like an ordinary teenager. I don't know what happened... while I was perfectly okay with the wild look back then,  I must say I am not at all fond of the new look. It could be because piercings and tattoos tend to be permanent. I've always liked that look on other people, but for some reason, I just don't feel the same seeing it on her. Anyway, to finally get around to what happened, my tattooed and pierced-up daughter called me on the phone. It went something like this..." Mom, I just went to the grocery store with a friend of mine, and when we were coming out of the store, in the parking lot, I saw a man drop some money out of his pocket. I went and picked it up, then ran up to the man (which made him jump and look suspiciously at me) and said,' hey you dropped this money.' He looked at me, at first startled, and as I handed it to him, I saw that it was a $10 bill. He took it, and then said thanks. He started to walk away but then stopped and asked me if I liked tomatoes. I told him I did, and he said that he sells produce at a produce stand and he has some leftover tomatoes if I would like some. We all walked over to his car, where he gave me some tomatoes. Then, he took the $10 bill back out of his pocket and held it out to me. He said,' Here, you take this. You deserve this for being so honest. It makes me happy to see a young person like you be so honest.' " She said, " I told him no, it was okay, it was his money, and I gave it back to him because it belonged to him." She said he then insisted she take it for doing such a deed.

She was so happy about getting that $10.00, not to mention those tomatoes. This whole incident made me really proud, because while Candice forgets about how she looks to strangers, I know that at first, all that man saw was a young, tattooed, pierced-up kid running towards him. But then he saw past all that, to who she truly is. I wish I could have been in the parking lot that day.  I wish I could have screamed, “Hey Mr.... that's my kid!! ”

My hope is that by sharing these stories we can all start to make a difference. Let's all try harder to wait and see how people treat us before we decide how we in turn should treat them. I'm going to go find my kid now, give her a great big hug and tell her how much I love her and how proud I am to be her mom.

Until next time
Dee
a.k.a. Mo*Bee

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